ABOUT US
Sorry, this website is (obviously) still a work in progress. The to-do list includes starting an email newsletter and a Patreon page, so that supporters can follow along with updates and get previews of new material. Looking at the past attempts at similar websites, I’m trying to pace myself and build something more comprehensive, linking to outside resources wherever they exist. Eventually, the goal is to involve multiple stakeholders in content creation and website maintenance.
Thank you for your patience.
3 Goals with ChristianBDSM.com
1) Explain the basics of BDSM for a skeptical audience.
Although there are many secular books on BDSM and some Christian books on sexuality, there are very few resources that approach healthy, consensual BDSM from a Christian perspective.
2) Collect helpful, non-pornographic BDSM resources for Christians.
Where external resources exist, hopefully this website can make them easier to find. BDSM play should not be approached without serious discussions about the many dangers involved.
3) Provide contrasting perspectives and alternatives.
Where Christian leaders have made public statements about BDSM, those arguments deserve consideration. Some aspects of secular BDSM culture are incompatible with a Christian lifestyle.
3 Limits for the Scope and Mission
what NOT to expect of ChristianBDSM.com
1) Not to provide an open community forum for networking and public discussion.
Message boards and forums require moderation, a time-consuming and inherently divisive process. As the website and its audience expands, there may be guest blog posts and a space for brief testimonials, and hopefully there will be links to any external forums where such discussions are already taking place. Personal ads (like “38 year old Christian male dom seeking 18-35 year old…”) would be popular with people seeking partners (and increase traffic to the website), but it would be impossible to verify the safety and true identity of users. Rather than providing an online community for kinky Christians, the goal is to show how mainstream Christians should be more open to discussing and accepting consensual BDSM publicly.
Note: During the early phases of development, comments will be enabled on certain pages. This is should make it easier for anyone to point out typos, factual errors, and organizational problems. Not all comments will be approved for public display, but all thoughtful feedback is appreciated. It’s hard to guess which rambling digressions readers will find interesting or thought-provoking and which ones should simply be removed.
2) No to evangelize the secular BDSM community as a mission field.
If you aren’t interested in exploring BDSM in your marriage, but instead you’re looking for ways to evangelize the secular BDSM community, then this website will not be helpful in that pursuit. Most kinky people work normal jobs, buy groceries, and go to the movies just like anyone else, and so the conventional methods for reaching unchurched people in your area will automatically reach the members of the kink community.
Despite widespread acceptance in theory, the BDSM lifestyle is still marginalized to the point where individuals often need to use an alias for anonymity, even when meeting in person. It would be highly disruptive and inappropriate to attend meetings for the sole purpose of converting participants, rather than learning about BDSM. Topics like “How to find kinky people in your area” will be approached with caution and largely avoided.
3) Not to use language that’s inclusive of all gender identities and sexual orientations.
Since it deserves to be acknowledged, the heteronormative language on this website is inherently problematic. For what it’s worth, this reluctant choice is not intended to exclude or implicitly pass judgment on anyone. Rather, the purpose is to make the content as relatable as possible for its target audience, including readers who might reject any guide that seemed to “preach” in favor of gay marriage or non-binary inclusivity.
Every human life is valuable and unique. You are not alone. You are loved, even and especially when you are rejected by the people around you. These ideas are at the core of Christianity. Unfortunately, another recurring idea in the Bible is that groups of believers consistently misunderstand the core ideas. From the Pharisees to the disciples to the early church, human mistakes are more plentiful than miracles.
Still a work in progress. Thank you for your patience and support.