Why Christian BDSM?

Many kinky believers find that BDSM is fully compatible with a healthy, monogamous Christian marriage. BDSM provides a helpful framework for communication and safe, consensual exploration.

BDSM is not recommended for all Christians, but safe and responsible BDSM has the potential to enhance intimacy and strengthen marriages. These three core values are essential:

Thinking Critically

Unsure why any Christian would engage in BDSM? Historical Christianity provides a framework for seeing some aspects of BDSM from a different perspective. The “Other Resources” page includes helpful links to secular How-To guides.

Does the Bible have anything to say about BDSM? How about sexual immorality within marriage?

How does the asceticism and self-flagellation of historical clerics compare to discipline in BDSM?

From fuzzy handcuffs to chains and rope, where exactly should married Christian couples draw the line?

Many roles are possible in “power exchange” relationships, including Dom/sub and Master/slave.

C.S. Lewis described pain as God’s “megaphone.” When can painful experiences be positive?

The secular BDSM community has produced several helpful books, blogs, and video guides.

Reactions and Testimonials

Share Your Experience

For Christians who worry that their own kinky desires are sinful, it helps to hear that others have successfully found ways to engage in BDSM as Christians. Share a little bit about your story and your perspective. Some responses will be posted publicly.

Do You Disagree?

Feel free to share your thoughts and objections, but please include scriptural references (or external resources) to support your claim.

Include your email if you’re open to follow-up questions. Examples of the strongest arguments may be shared on this website. Thank you for taking the time to engage with an open mind.

Recent Blog Posts

Eventually, this will be a space for book reviews and other helpful tips that don’t fit with the primary pages. The arguments against BDSM also deserve consideration. 

Review: The Great Sex Rescue

Published in 2021, “The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended” started with a survey of 22,000 Christian women. Co-authors Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky do a great

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Review: 128 Rules for the Female Slave

Written rules can help define boundaries within a D/s relationship. But how many rules do you need? And what topics should the rules cover? Back in the 1990s, a controversial list circulated around the kink community. “128 rules for the

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Christian husband and wife argue about women's role and submission

How Do You Make Your Wife Submit?

Short Answer: You Don’t. Roles like “Dominant” and “spiritual leader” don’t provide unlimited power. Regardless of whether or not you’re active in BDSM, a husband doesn’t “make” his wife do anything in the sense of forcing her against her will.

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how to talk to your partner about bdsm

How to Talk to Your Partner About BDSM

How should you start the conversation with your spouse? Maybe you’ve only recently discovered your kinky side. Or maybe you’ve been ashamed of your fantasies since adolescence or earlier. However long you’ve been kinky, concealing your ongoing desires can weaken

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What is Christian Domestic Discipline?

Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) shares a lot in common with BDSM Discipline (and secular Domestic Discipline), but the differences also matter. For starters, CDD usually works to reflect Biblical gender roles. The vast majority of wives in CDD submit to

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Website Under Construction

Similar websites have been attempted in the past. TaskMaster created christian-bdsm.org in the 1990’s, and his work was preserved and continued by Sir Gardener in the 2000’s at christiansandbdsm.com. Although they’re no longer active, both sites are still partially accessible through the WayBack Machine at web.archive.org.

Your support and encouragement is essential in making this project a success. There’s a real need for reliable resources in a topic where pornography and unrealistic fantasies dominate the search results.

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Still a work in progress. Thank you for your patience and support.